Now there is a word that will send shivers up and down my spine - RESPONSIBILITY. Its as though just saying the word alone makes me feel adult like.
So here is the deal. I am from a family where I am the youngest of two. And while I definitely stand by the fact that I have worked my ass off to get to where I am, I will admit openly on this inter web, that the things that never seemed to be a struggle for me, were the things I likely took for granted.
Having parents that seemed to give me what I wanted / needed combined with this desire to just fit in somewhere in this world, resulted in a clear weakness in me growing up. And I am not blaming anyone, hell I think for the first time I admitted it was my fault to my parents prior to moving to this crazy city I live in now. But after a year of admitting fault, I realized over the past few days after staring at the vision board that hangs on my wall, that it was time to stop admitting defeat and instead take care of stuff like a REAL LIFE ADULT WOULD.
But being an adult is hard work!!!! And it is by no means fun at times. I had to write an email to a dear friend today admitting weakness and likely letting her down and it KILLED ME. I sat at my computer in the office all day grumpy as hell, snapping at everyone. It took so much of me to not get up and stomp my feet like the 6 year old that I know lives inside of me and just throw a plain old tantrum, while praying that my parents would come to the rescue. I KNOW, I need to grow the hell up. Well in some respects, in others I would argue that I air more on the side of a wise senior citizen. But I guess taking responsibility for your actions and mistakes, is about facing yourself in the mirror and admitting that it's time to get serious, regardless of how hard some of the steps you may need to take are.
And with that I am beginning to make my focus - RESPONSIBILITY (minus the shivers up and down my spine).
If there is one thing I have learnt it is that you can not ignore the mistakes you have made and the wrong you have done, hoping that they will go away. It's like KHARMA, it all comes back. And so sooner or later you gotta bite the bullet deal with the tough times and face the music. So in order to make 2015 your best year yet. Take a look at some of the things you know you have run from, or ignored. AND CLEAR THEM OUT. Face them and right the wrongs. Only then as I realized today, will you begin to really feel like you are taking ownership for your life.
HERE IS TOOOO RESPONSIBILITY (arghh...) and day 2 of not being tardy :)