Monday, December 17, 2012

1, 10, 20, 30, 40 years & counting

I always like to think  that in my 30 years of living, I have managed to figure it all out when it comes to love and relationships. So much so, that when my 19 year old niece talks to me about love I can smile sweetly and think to myself, she has no idea what's coming. And as bad as that sounds I think most of us can agree that we have grown out of the impulsive love stage we were in when we were kids and moved into a much more mature state by understanding that love means more then the fact that the guy has a nice ride or that the girl is smoking hot with an ass of steal. I mean we all still want those things, LOL, but we understand that there are certain qualities that last a bit longer and that over time skin will get saggy, looks will fade and nice ride's become mini-van's (hopefully BMW mini-van's).

And so as wise as I would like to think I am, I am often reminded that I still have some things to learn as I did this weekend, when I had the honor of spending time with one of my most favoritest couples that happened to be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, my parents :) And I know what you are thinking HOLY F 40 THAT IS A LONG DAMN TIME, because it's my sentiments exactly. But I think that's what makes it as beautiful as it is. And in honor of this occasion,  I wanted to get my parents to do a guest entry, but let's be real, my English is already hard enough to understand so I can only imagine what you would have gotten had I allowed them to write. LOL. Therefore I will take this one on for them, and hope that I can do it justice.

So as I was saying, this weekend began with a call from my mom, who sounded like a giddy teenager. She called me to tell me how lucky and blessed she felt not only to have two amazing daughters that she was proud of, but also to have a husband that regardless of his flawed nature at times gave her a reason to want to enjoy each and every day. I couldn't help but tear up in such happiness as she continued to talk about my dad.  All  I could think to myself was how amazing they were together and how much they had overcome. I mean I have witnessed it all - the worst fights, hardcore screaming, yelling, slamming doors, crying,  lies and anger used to get out of things, along with the beauty of them working together to get over these hard life and relationship struggles whether it's communication, hurts that have stung so bad it has taken years to overcome, job changes and struggles, money, children and family issues, distance, travel,  you name it. No matter how bad things ever got, their commitment, patience and love for each other never stopped either of them after days, weeks or months of not talking to turn around and say I love you, I'm sorry let's talk.  I have watched them put their pride away, admit defeat, apologize and overcome hurdles that neither of them including my sister and I though they could overcome. They tell me it's because they stayed positive, I think it's because they are committed. Or maybe it lends itself to the nature of their arranged marriage versus  being surrounded by so much choice that it is easy to run in times of difficulty, rather than face them head on.

While they both would like to think they are - NEITHER OF THEM ARE PERFECT,  which is why over time they have both made compromises to make each other happy. And it's these compromises that will have my mom admit that she would rather not wake up to anyone else's annoying snoring and my dad to admit that there is no one else he would rather fight and bitch at. And I know we never want to admit that our parents are in LOVVVVVEEE because well there is a whole slew of mental images we would like to ignore, but in this case I am accepting this fact and realizing that it has made me a huge part of who I am. 

You see I am committed. Committed to the bad, the good and the ugly. It's the reason I never gave up on my dreams of becoming valedictorian after being rejected many times along the way,  it's the reason I never gave up on my CA Exams after experiencing so much failure, it's the reason I have never given up my student's who struggle with their CA Exams, It's the reason I stuck it out in Africa when every part of me wanted to run home at times,  it's the reason why I never gave up on the GMAT and my MBA Dreams no matter how stupid I had come to feel, It's the reason I drag myself out of bed early on Saturday mornings to make it to dragon boat practice, It’s the reason I stop and think of the people around me and try to do little things to make them happy - even if it's as small as leaving a note behind that says I love you or taking the time to really listen to what they are saying, It's the reason why with every mistake, failure, argument, relationship/friendship issue, I have had the ability to admit failure, defeat and apologize and work to better myself for not only me, but for those I love and it's the reason why I have never given up and remained patient in the face of any situation.  And you may think I'm crazy for enduring It all, but the truth is, that after overcoming challenges like these ones, the feeling of surviving, succeeding and being happy is something you appreciate so much more along with the people that always believed in you.

Anyhow, before I let this drag on too much, I leave you with a picture (several actually) of my parents to introduce the happy couple- the most amazing set of best friends ever - so that I can dedicate this post to them. And I also leave you with their wise love lessons for the next generation.

In relationships it's inevitable that things will get hard. Your love and commitment to each other will be tried, tested and put through the ringer at many points along the way. There will be days that you come home feeling like you hate your partner and want to escape, but those are the times you have to hold on tighter and be as open and honest with them as possible, no matter how difficult those conversations can seem. The love you have for each other will always prevail and keep you too together, you just have to remain calm, positive and full of belief in your partner's commitment to you. After all that's what the two of you are meant to be - Partners in Crime and Best Friends that are willing to face everything and anything together. You are meant to conquer the world, and no one ever did that with out a few hiccups along the way.

So with that I sign-off and wish you all nothing but the strength, positivity and patience to believe in the ones you love most :) Til we meet again.

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