The table was a mix of younger and older, and it was as though the younger just looked at us 30 somethings with a hope that we could help them. And the mere fact was we couldn't. I mean all we seemed to do was encourage the mistake making, because that's what we all felt your 20's were for.
Amidst all the giggling and laughing, we identified that growing up there were two types of girls when it came to relationships - 1. The girl who knows what she wants and won't demand less (aka, the b%^&$h essentially) and 2. The girl who defines herself by the relationships she is in, and assumes that what she has is the best she can ever get (aka the pushover, the nice girl).
In all the discussion, my mind started to dwell on the two categories and reflect on the path I had taken. I wanted so desperately to be that number 1 girl. I wanted to demand what I wanted, but for some reason I couldn't ever do it, well at least not till now. I always felt horrible, and as though I just wanted to keep the peace, make everyone happy. It sounds absolutely ridiculous but at least I know walking away from that past of relationships, that i will never have a guy say that I was a crazy, horrible human. And while that is comforting, it still leaves this feeling of wanting to slap my younger self into shape. I mean I literally was that girl - waited around, nodded her head, went above and beyond in apologies, did everything I could essentially. I just really wanted that love story, even if that meant doing things that I knew I didn't agree with. Maybe inside i just assumed things would turn around and that if I paid the price initially, he would turn around and then do the same. YEA NEVER DID THAT HAPPEN....LOL.. meh, what being younger is all about...mhmm I digress.
Regardless of where I came from, I listen to the radio now and here songs like - steal your girl by one direction or all of me by John legend, and I start to think - HELL YEA! You better recognise how awesome your girl is!!!! It's funny actually when you think about it. I mean all of us girls sit around talking about guys and the troubles they seem to cause us, but never do we really stop and think that they two are struggling with all the same stuff. I guess as girls we gossip till there is no voice left and men just do manly things and let things work out in their mind. So i guess it is true in the end - men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It only took me 30 something years to realise that the title of the book was right, LOL.
So what is it about love and relationships that make us go crazy? is it the figuring out what you really want? Is it the challenge of changing someone from one thing to another? or is it just this idea of this movie like fairy tale that makes us chase and chase and chase till we can chase no more?
For me it is clearly the last one. My favourite love story of all (well there are several) is serendipity. And i know how crazy it sounds but maybe its this idea that I love about the universe just hearing your trials and tribulations this whole while and really just pushing you along a path till that happily ever after makes you feel as though you don't have to be girl number 1 or 2, you can just be some balance in between and be perfectly loved as you are.....
Such a simple thought, such a complicated road to get there. Here is to finding love in everything we do and continuing to try and try again :)
#love #relationships #figuringitout #menaremarswomenarefromvenus #growingup #girlfriends #life