I think I will hate myself for this tomorrow morning as I am getting yelled at to run faster during this ridicules #barrysbootcamp class I have signed myself up for. But I had to do it.
Today, the whole day just seemed like this weird turn of events and pathways that led me to this inspiring evening that lit this incredible fire in me. I wanted to drive the tube home and run as fast as I could, just to make it to this computer, so that I could just spill out the words oozing inside of me. It was one of those moments when I walked through my flat door where I wished I could pull the "boy", you know drop your pants, unbutton your dress shirt, brush your teeth and be pj and home body ready. Clearly that didn't happen, especially since I scrubbed every corner of my flat this weekend. But none the less, at last I am sitting in the comfort of my flat, neatly placed at my lap top, rambling away, aren't all you people in cyber space JUST THAT LUCKY?
I wanted to get this out and while I know Father's day is not yet till this weekend, this evening's events made me want to do this now, so that I could capture every bit of the gratitude, love and happiness inside of me. And what better way to get this all out then in a form of an old school letter to my daddy, to just say "Happy Father's Day" you are the best, but not only the best, you are truly the BESTEST AND MOST SPECIALIST FATHER EVER. So here we go:
Sorry firstly that I didn't return your call today, the day just sort of slipped away. But none the less I wanted to tell you about this incredible evening I had that made me think only of you and all you have done for me, for us, for our family. Tonight I went to the screening of a film called girl rising. It is a documentary that focuses on young girls in the developing world and their fight to gain not only a "normal" life but an education. While tragic, it was beautiful and at its core extremely empowering.
But how this whole thing ties to you, and how I came to think only of you during this film, was when they featured this one little girl from India. The father of this girl, had moved his family from their secure and safe village to the busy, crazy streets of India just to make sure that they, his kids, could get an education and make something of their lives. The whole story, had me in tears and primarily because I could in those moments remember all the late nights you worked, the dreaded math books you made us do and all the summer / christmas holidays that were spent doing extra homework and reading science books. I could see in those moments how much you pushed us to do more and more because you too wanted us to just be, be something, be someone, leave a mark, make a difference and live the life that you dreamed for us. It was in these moments that I felt the luckiest I have ever felt to be your daughter and to be thankful for all the times you challenged me to do better, to really think about the choices I was making and to live to my greatest potential, even if it meant standing in front of a mirror and lecturing myself 100 times over.
We have had a crazy ride, these past couple of years. And while I know there are moments, words or events we wish we could do over, the reality is I wouldn't change a thing. Especially since it all led me to this very evening where I could for the first time in my life witness everything you really have strived hard to give us.
So with out continuing to ramble on, I do want you to know that not only did this evening make me see all these great things in the father I have, it also made me realize who I want to be in this world and the mark I hope to leave. And while it is something I want to hold close to my heart for awhile, I will tell you that it will make you proud, it will make you feel like all the hard work, the annoying lectures, and repeated words were all worth it in the end. Because i did listen this whole time, even if I pretended not to.
Thank you for being the best daddy ever.
Love you always.
And there you have it, an ode to my daddy. And now, yes now, I turn to you all out there and encourage you all to do the same. Get a piece of paper and a pen and just pour your heart out. Tell your daddy, or that special father figure in your life just how much they mean to you.
Tonight made me see how women make the world go round and while I am a strong advocate of that, I will say that the support of a man too helps that rotation a bit more. So its important that we embrace, love and cherish the father figures in our lives.
Happy Father's Day :)