The Life of A #Globetrotter

As four ladies, from all different kinds of walks of life banded together this afternoon in the hope of finding a sisterhood, a bond, a connection I guess is what you can say, I could not help and feel both blessed that I could be the answer to something someone has been searching for and honoured for my own little sisterhood of wonderfully powerful, unique and beautiful women. 

I used to crave this need to have that group of friends that grew up together since childhood that would meet every other day to just shoot the shit, watch a movie, have a laugh, a drink and just be that blessed sense of peace. And than I got older and strapped myself to a suit case and a whole set of big dreams and suddenly I realized that I wasn't necessarily the same as those around me and the sisterhood of girls I tended to band myself with, were no different. They all had these visions of life taking them to places far beyond and knew that similar to me, we would just never be that set of friends that could call each other on a Tuesday and just meet at the cinema. So just like that we became a globetrotting bunch that were banded by Skype dates, letter / email / card writing and endless laughs and giggles over holidays when we all flocked home. 

I got used to it. Used to just being on my own and knowing that I could meet and make friends where ever  I went and while the bonds I made along the way may not necessarily last, I always knew that I would have this globetrotting bunch that would be my safeguard when I needed it most, regardless of the time differences between us. 

And so as a result I became more independent than ever, having solace in the time I had with just me whether it was in the comfort of my home or some random trip I chose to take on my own. Alone time, now there is something that I love. But in a city as big as London, alone time can feel a bit like isolation. The city is moving so fast, and people are constantly coming and going from all over the globe that locking yourself in your flat creates this feeling of abnormality. As if wanting to be on your own is as radical of an idea as being a hipster. But how do you just throw yourself into this crazy crowd almost like its a mosh pit of people that you just have to choose to trust, accept and let in? And most of all how do you pick a part the good from the bad and make sure that you don't get stuck making yesterdays mistakes all over again? When do you find the time to just give yourself that little bit of space so that you can take it all in, reflect, recharge and just check in?

I'm not afraid of building the pillars that I need, nor building that group of friends that I can go to watch a movie with any night of the week, no sir. What I am afraid of is diving in to fast, with out thinking. Retreating back to my people pleasing ways and loosing the time I need to self reflect and ensure that I am keeping the promises I made with myself. And so I have taken my time and held back as a result, but today as I sat sipping one of the most lovely Caesars I have ever had, the woman across the table from me spoke:

"Discipline is doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, when we don't want to do it"

It was as though she was in my head and knew what argument I had been having as of late with myself and suddenly became that lecture, that self reflection time that I really needed.  That "SNAP THE HELL OUT OF IT" kinda lecture. So with that I gave into these wonderful ladies, let my guard down and just giggled the afternoon away. And it was wonderfully beautiful.

And through all the giggles, in the back of my mind I just thought of my wonderful lady friends all across the globe and realized just how lucky I am. Time, distance and space doesn't do anything but build stronger bonds and make you appreciate what you have and what i have both in my new hometown and all around the world is the most beautiful thing ever #Iamblessed

So alll you's in cyber space, no life lesson for today, just a simple task. CALL, EMAIL, SKYPE, WHATSAPP, FACETIME, OLD SCHOOL LETTER AND CARD WRITE, DO WHATEVER...Just get in touch with anyone that makes your heart and soul smile and laugh a million times over and tell them just how awesome they are to you...

DO IT!!! NOWWWWWWW!!! 

Hugging my way out 
-A

#TIME an Ode to #WEOWNTHENIGHT and ALL that Mature type of Stuff

"Life is all about timing…the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable becomes available, the unattainable, attainable. Have the patience, wait it out. It’s all about timing.”

I like to pride myself on being active and find a serious amount of solace in the activities I tend to take part in. It is true I am somewhat of an addict to trying new activities and constantly pressing myself to push and try harder at things I never thought were possible to do. Maybe it is the fat kid inside me that haunts me in my older age. Yes that would mean that potentially I am holding onto all the mean things I was called, the insecurities I felt and all that stuff that comes in between. But does it really matter when everything I am doing is really for my betterment and in the mix of it all I am constantly motivating all of those around me to BE AND DO THERE BEST??!? I say not and instead give myself one hell of a jumping high five for it all J

So there is a point to why I have started on this rant. As my friends and family know, I have recently taken my passion for running to a new level, by saying that I will run a half marathon by the end of this year and then perhaps go on to do an actual marathon. Well in training for that, I on a whim signed up to do a 10k this past weekend. Only I should mention that my half marathon training has been severely put on hold as I moved countries and embarked on my 30 day yoga challenge. So when I looked at my calendar and realized I had only 2 weeks to train for this thing you can imagine my maddening pains of anxiety that took over. And likely more so because I HAD NEVER RUN A 10K BEFORE!!!!

But in true me typical style, I poured myself into my training, even tried to stay clear of the Brit’s choices of beverages and just got me 10K ready.

And then #weownthenight happened. Over 10000  women from all over London gathered in Victoria Park, in an effort to all achieve one goal – FINISH THE DAMN 10K and enjoy that blessed glass of victory champagne waiting for us all at the finish line.

I wish I could explain the atmosphere as we all waited in our race bands. It was as though there was a flurry of excitement, adrenaline and emotions. And as the music on my IPod started blaring and the race began I got lost in a sea of women who I could see were no different than me. They all had a goals, dreams, insecurities and emotions that this race was going to make them feel like they could face. And at each point in that race, at every KM marker when I desperately thought I could just stop now and walk a bit, I looked at the women surrounding me, paid attention to the motivation blaring through my headphones and pushed forward full force ahead.

It was an experience like no other, and while I came out with a #personalbest time. I will say the number one take away, lesson, whatever you want to call it that I got out of it, WAS that the finish line, was so illustrative of the things we want in our lives. All of us ladies ran at our own paces, with our own goals and reached the same point when we were ready, when the time was right. There were moments we all had where we had to either slow it down, speed it up or just choose to get lost in the atmosphere around us without really caring about anything but living  in the moment. But no matter what it didn’t matter, we all reached that end goal, that marker, and got to celebrate our victories.

Timing you see played a part.

My biggest challenge has always been slowing things down and understanding that sometimes, timing is really the most important element for success. I see something and I want it yesterday. And so quickly I get lost in the ideas of things, without even really stopping to think if it is truly what I want or if I am just choosing to want something to keep up with the jones so to say.  But this 10k taught me that life isn’t a short sprint, but rather a marathon that requires time, patience and gumshump. And so after crossing that finish line I made a pact with myself to want the things I want whole heartedly, but instead of speeding ahead and pushing for things to happen yesterday, I want to learn to really enjoy the process of riding the wave to the finish line J Which will include smiling through even through the most of annoying of moments - which is way easier said then done. 

So cyber space, universe space and everything that has a wave that gets this blog entry, I make a pact with you today to say – I AM PUTTING ALL MY DREAMS OUT TO YOU, with all the heart I have and am going to walk around smiling like I got it because I know when the TIME is right it will ALLLLLL HAPPPPPEN.

And sooo all you people out there – I challenge you all to slow it down, marvel in the annoying pauses and realize that if we want it to last FOREVER EVER we gotta sometimes let time takes its course.

And with that I leave all up to the clock....

- A

FeaR of Failure - AKA "Night Sweats"

Alrighty all you out there in cyber space this is about to get personal, like perhaps a too close for comfort kinda personal. But then again, I have let you all live inside my head, so why not just take it one step further. 

I'm exhausted. I have spent the last few nights waking up in the sweats EVERY TWO HOURS. And it's not as though I have taken way too much Advil allowed to sweat out some kind of infectious bug. Rather it's as though my yoga challenge is following into my dreams and my sleep and I seem to be doing 2-3 hot yoga sessions a night - which means I have burned through all the clothes I can classify as PJ's and have been doing laundry like I'm babysitting a 2 year old. 

So obvious solution, GOOGLE of course :) after two nights of not enough sleep, I strolled into work, propped open my lap top and immediately entered into google "Night sweats" and within 2 seconds, thanks to Web MD, I was able to self diagnose the situation. Well, I mean at least come up with some probable reasons as to what the hell was happening to me at night, to which of course my mother clearly shook her head so heavily I could here it from the TDOT to LTOWN. "Crazy Daughter" was all I could here her mumble. 

So what was it, what is it? And no I am not going through the early signs of menopause which Web MD did try to tell me (duh, clearly too young!). The truth is of all the reasons Web MD spit out I knew the "anxiety / stress" one was the real reason. And why? Why was I or am I so stressed or anxious as of late? I mean from the outside looking in, it looks as though I have begun the path to getting it all, but then again is that maybe what scares me? Or is it that the next thing on my list is the biggest most scariest of them all and now that I am starting to get snip its of the beginnings of things, I am desperately trying to think of all the reasons why I should continue to stay stagnate. It's like as though I am waiting for this magical perfect moment for it all to be right when the reality is that sometimes you just gotta dive in knowing you have most of it if not all of it together. I guess it's kinda what they tell people when they are trying or thinking about having a baby - you never really are ready for what could come your way. But regardless you have to know you can. 

And maybe that's just it - I fear failing all over again. I don't know if I can or if I am capable of heading down that path. For me hitting rock bottom was the solid foundation on which I re-built my life - point blank straight up as raw as it gets that's the honest truth. And now that I have more than I could ever imagine, I am afraid of letting it combust in my face all over again. Which is the biggest problem, I am unable to take the success I have since endured and translate it over to this next thing on my list. I mean it should be easy, which for all intensive purposes it is on the surface, but I know that this thing is gonna have to get a bit deeper. 

So after taking some time to reflect in the midst of my actual hot yoga sessions and not the hypothetical ones I seem to be having in my sleep, I decided that in following with my #mantra theme, it was time to change up my #mantra for the remainder of my #30daychallenge. So now instead of "I can I will" I have taken on "let go" in the hopes that I will allow myself to learn to let go of the fears holding me back and just leap forward, realizing that it will all work out the way I have forever and always dreamed it would. 

And with that - yes you know it! I turn to you all in cyber space and share this video that I am positive I saw years ago and remind you all to make sure that everyday you are testing yourself, living to your maximum and GIVING UP ON THE FEAR THAT FAILING COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN. 

"It is impossible to live with out failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all at which case you fail by default" - JK Rowling 

Til next time (and hopefully much more sleep later)
-A 

SNAPPPPPY HAPPPPY!!! #100HappyDays

What?

We live in times when super-busy schedules have become something to boast about. While the speed of life increases, there is less and less time to enjoy the moment that you are in. The ability to appreciate the moment, the environment and yourself in it, is the base for the bridge towards long term happiness of any human being.#100happydays

The running shoe diaries a name / concept / whatever it is you would like to call it, emerged as a declaration on my behalf to step away from the rush rush of the every day and actually take a moment to enjoy life. You know savour that walk into work, allow time for meditation and reflection and most importantly "be present".  Its been a year and a half since I started this process and its amazing how at times even I feel like my brain can just shut down. I used to be this person who's mind raced all over the place, planning and thinking about the next step. And suddenly I have slowed down to a pace that even at times shocks me. My sweaty palms are no more, the anxiety has decreased to less then zero and instead this "whatever is meant to happen, shall happen" approach to life has taken over. 

But even I am not perfect, and yes I am admitting that on this inter web of a place. So with a move to a massive city with no real plan and a hope that good old fate will take me to where I meant to end up, this automatic feeling of rushing to settle in and get life started has begun to take over me. The fears of being wrong, of isolating myself, or running from something that I can't even explain all take over in the moments when all this change can feel overwhelming. And while I have friends and family on the other side of the planet that commend me for making such a bold move, I know that both myself and them are stuck in these overbearing lives that even when we feel like we are in complete control we are not.

And in the midst of all this #100happydays emerges. An idea, a concept, a challenge that ties similarly to that very declaration that I made through this blog of a place. So how could I not resist? How could I not join forces with one of my nearest and dearest across the globe and make a commitment to spending not only these next 100 days being happy, but the rest of my life. And now through Instagram I am committing to capturing some of my happiest moments of each day, while becoming that annoying person that will hold up traffic, a random group of people and everything else in between as I get snappy happy :) 

So as always, with me trying to encourage everyone out there to just smile more and enjoy the moments that matter, I challenge you all to take on the #100happydays challenge - http://100happydays.com. 

As the site says, there are no material prizes to be won, but then again you can't put a price tag or value on anything like true and genuine #happiness. 

SOO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!! GETTT SNAPPPY HAPPPY Y'ALL!!!!!

- A

A what?!?!?! A MANTRA I SAID!!!!

So its about to get real spiritual up in here. And I know I tend to be the philosophical type, but I think I may just take it to a whole other level during this post.

I am here, I have arrived. I am officially in my new home town, surrounded by everything new and yet everything familiar all at the same time. Life is crazy wonderful and at the same time completely and utterly overwhelming. Everyday is new, and while I know I have done a lot of my day to day before and over and over again, somehow it just feels like I am learning to ride a bike from scratch.

So what is one to do? Live this overwhelming life while feeling as though my air supply could be cut off shortly? or do I retreat? Step back and take a moment or two to take in all that is happened and all that I know is about to happen.

Retreat wins, because lets face it I wanna see this beautiful life through.  And so you may ask how does one retreat, well duh?!?!!? by committing oneself to a #30DayHotYogaChallenge. Which is simple, 30 days in the month of April = 30 days of yoga, which also means 30 days of a lot of sweating, a lot of dirty hair and bunmakers and a whole lot of running to work to make it in on time. Sounds simple right? Physically yes, but what I never anticipated were the spiritual and emotional aspects that committing yourself to such a challenge brings.

So let's begin with what I mean. A while back, in conversation with someone who was trying to help me out of a really dark time, she mentioned that in a similar time in her life she found that having her own personal mantra helped her. And while she shared her mantra with me, I tried desperately to make her words work for me. But they didn't and over time this idea of a mantra has come up over and over and over again and yet, it never really stuck with me. It could be that I try to force thoughts in my head at times or it could just be that nothing has really resonated. Well, nothing until now. Just as I committed myself to this Yoga challenge, I found this picture on Pintrest and immediately was drawn to it.

And I know its something so simple and so something our parents would say to us on a daily basis. But only as I started this challenge did I start to really hear the thoughts in my head, you know the I can'ts, I'm scared, oh god I am going to hurt myself. And suddenly I realized about a couple classes in that if for every time I had a doubt or a fear in my mind, I replaced it with the phrase above, I suddenly became invincible and more willing to challenge and push myself to believe in what I am capable of, not just on the mat, but in every single aspect of my life.

Now its only been 8 days, 10 if you count the two days I went before the challenge officially started, so who knows what will come of me at the end of this month. But for now, what I will say is that I have found my own personal mantra and with that my own personal warrior, cheerleader and picker upper, which means I no longer need saving, because I have saved myself. Which is why I have come to be this massive believer now in that idea of
"change your thoughts, change your life"

So now to all of you out there in cyber space. What are your Mantra's? And if you don't have one yet, what's stopping you from finding one? Hell, it could be one crazzzy ass rap song for all I care. BUT TAKE THE TIME, TO FIND ONE, TO MAKE IT STICK AND THEN PUT THAT S@!T ON REPEAT IN YOUR MIND, Just like your favourite song. It will change your life and if you don't believe me then try it and tell me otherwise...BECAUSE I KNOOW I AM RIGHT :)

And on that note I shall retreat to the comfort of my new bed in my new flat in my new poppppin' town :)

Til next time, cheers mates!

-A

Dream Chasers

Where do I even begin? How long has it been? Too long I suppose, at least for me. Writing has become my solace, and in all the change, movement and running forward that has happened over the past bit, all I have craved is this blog, which has become my space to just let out everything that has been bubbling in my mind. 

Change is good they say. And while I do agree, I have come to realize that something you can anticipate and want for so long, can suddenly feel like the scariest thing in the world. Even when you finally get there and find your footing, you constantly wonder if what you have just done, chosen and agreed to embark on is in fact what you should be doing. 

Yes, that is exactly what has been going through my mind. I now live in a city, that seems like home, like a place that I was meant to be and even in the most chaotic moments, I know that somehow I am meant to be here. But while i know my gut instincts sit as they do, I am constantly wondering what exactly I have done with my life. And if what I am doing, living, dreaming is right, or if this gut instinct is like those other times I may have gotten it wrong, where suddenly there will be a flash of smoke and a whole lot of WHAT DO I DO NOW. I guess this is commitment for you. Sticking through and hoping that what I am doing will soon make sense. 

Each day starts out with a nervous excitement as I walk along the streets with all the funny shaped houses that seem to have so much history behind them, and as I get on the train to the office, I can't help but wonder if one day I will get on and suddenly see a familiar face and then as I near the office corner, I wonder if what I will do today, will live up to the expectations that have been set by my brand. And then somehow I manage to make it through the day in a series of ups and downs that always leave me on a high note, excited about the life that I am actually living. 

And then I get home, do my nightly routine and before I know it end up in bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what my next big dream will be. And whether in my life I will ever be content with just sitting still and being happy with what I have. I mean will I forever be a dream chaser, a life liver and happiness seeker? Or will it all just stop one day? I mean even if I am a running shoe era kid who wants to savour each moment, am I not allowed to keep  chasing my dreams? 

Someone once said to me after meeting me once, that I came across as rather intense, and almost as if with all the things I was surrounding my mind and life with, I was actually using them as barriers to block the things that scare me most from coming in. And in wondering about my next biggest dream, I think back and wonder if that person was right. Am I only chasing dreams, so that I can protect myself from the dreams I know I have that scare me most? Or is that just some pyscho analysis that really has no truth behind it?

What do you think out there in cyber space? Do people constantly move at the pace that they do, chasing the things they want most, so that they can avoid the thoughts in their heads, the things they want most or the harsh realities of life? Or are we all just living beings who see the endless possibilities that life has to offer us, give us and throw at us and make us take advantage of? Do we all want to live each moment like it's our last? Or are we hoping by living each moment to its fullest, we will forget, stop thinking about and ignore the real thoughts in our minds?

This thing called life is a funny thing I tell you. And just as I think I have it all figured out, I realize that in reality this understanding is just the beginning of not really knowing anything at all :)

Til next time dream chasers, life livers and forever and always happiness seekers :)

- A 

HAPPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!! ITS 2014 PEOPLE!!!!

2013 began in a way that I never quite imagined, but in likely what was one of the lowest moments of my life, I vowed as I rang in the New Year to dedicate the year to myself; to the idea of regaining my spirit, my confidence, belief in myself and most of all my self respect and appreciation for the amazing woman that I knew I really was, despite what others words, broken promises, lies and moments of cruelty had made me believe. 

As 2013 inched closer to its end, I found it absolutely crazy in knowing that I had far exceeded my expectations for my original 2013 goal. Especially since so many points within the year resembled the idea of taking steps forward and than suddenly running back to a place that was even further back from where I started. Where I would end up and if I would even get myself to where I wanted to at least try to be were a constant question and worry that kept me up at night. But as I said before I did exceed my expectations and I have no idea at what point I hit this massive turning point, but I did and now I sometimes giggle to myself thinking of how happy I have truly become not only with myself, but with my life in its entirety. 

So with that, before I turn to my focus in 2014, in true me style, I would like to inspire all of you to live the best year of your life. And while 2013, has drawn to a close, its important that we all spend a bit of time reflecting on the year that has passed and understand what some of the key lessons were that we had learnt.  

Therefore, in following what one of my favourite bloggers did, I have summarized below my greatest 10 lessons learnt in 2013 (promise they are short!!!). I hope they give you a foundation to start your lists and inspire you with some of your goals for 2014. 

So here we go and in no particular order.

1. I learnt that while we want to resist change, it needs to happen to allow for even better and bigger things to come. 

2. Sometimes things happen that we can not explain or make sense of, but it's just not worth it to contemplate, debate and throw energy into things that are completely out of our control. It's best to just BE YOU and focus your energy on that, because that's all you can really control. 

3. Doing nice things for people you either care about or don't even know feels soooo good, it becomes almost addicting to spread that kind of joy.

4. Clearing out the negativity in all aspects of your life, can be hard, but its so damn worth it, because once its all out you truly become excited about every moment you are living.

5. Melatonin is the greatest thing in life when you are traveling through 535363636353 time zones in a month. 

6. Love is truly everything and all you need. And I don't necessarily mean the love you get from you man or woman, I mean the Love you feel for yourself and the life that you are living.  

7. If you pay close attention to every moment in your life and really relish the idea of living in the NOW, you'll notice that there is a path the universe is guiding you on.

8. Sometimes bad things happen, for a good reason and while we wish we could erase the pain and suffering, when you look back you realize that you needed to go through something to really find yourself and who you are. 

9. Confidence in yourself and your abilities is the most powerful feeling ever.

10. Uncertainty and the idea of the unknown can be so damn scary, but for some reason they always seem to lead to moments where you have to pinch yourself to believe you are really alive.

So there you have it, I know there is a lot more I could say, but some times things are better left unsaid :) May you all be inspired to reflect on the year that has passed and allow that reflection to focus your mind on making 2014 your best year yet. 

For me, 2013 was my year for myself and now that I have found her,  I am dedicating 2014 to finding LOVE. And who knows I may have already found it, it may actually be just under my nose, but I'm gonna take 2014 to figure all this LOVE stuff out, because I am ready :)

And as I close, I would like to say that the running shoe diaries will be on hiatus till February, as I pack up my belongings and squeeze everything I own into suitcases and boxes for a more permanent relocation to a city I knew was always meant for me.

Happy reflecting and goal setting :) AND of course Happy New Year to all of you out there in cyber space, may you make this year your BEST YEAR YET! See you February from my new home!!!

- A